(we're going in) "abandon ship, you'll get your keep" that's what they said and in my foolishness i listened and let them into my bed young messiah, where've you been? i've been closely listening but all i hear is dead air coming from deep in your head that's right, no love for deep web folk memes, code red found sound, get crowned implied, he said bad kids, bad head, bent down, eat lead all brown, don't frown misled, misread. now i'm going in wearing an armor made of skin you wipe it off, take a glance, declare: urine never been the type to dwell on this organic, fresh hell automatic cypher topical and real as well you might call it a mission but i'm not trying to convert you might say that it's dangerous but i'm immune to hurt you might think that it's controversial but i disconcert for a living and a killing go ahead and eat dirt

illusions of scarcity, pursuit of perfection desensitize yourself to the pain of rejection you never have enough cuz you still want more who's keeping score in the general election? sinewy and silent, never violent, with your own perception 20/20's overrated, yields unnecessary questions • my brain is fried in a million tiny pieces breaking up quietly as my edges sizzle crisp and brown. forget the pants, who wears the crown in this relationship? i wonder if i can't reserve that title for myself. and i don't need any help because i've bought into a world where we are all self-sufficient and alone. and i need to reap what i've sown. (give some time to the middle ones i know that feeling of suspension hungry for attention always getting away)

reppin' API though i don't have the cred got a lineage before me running deep inside my head what i said was just regurgitated shit like "fuck the feds" seeking all the adulation before slinking off to bed go ahead, say the words, they're on the tip of your tongue: "he's so naïve, idealistic, immature, and young" i was born six weeks, never had good lungs always gasping for breath, tryna be heard now you've wrung me dry i wish that you could understand how it feels to be silenced by a platform of respectability to be reeled in by facelessness, come in and peel this mask off and maybe you'll find someone real never healed because i didn't want to play the victim but in this world if you're not against them you're with them my complicity a mark on my forehead from years of practice a red flag to my comrades in this fight for justice used to think i had to find myself used to think i had to know myself (but that truly some nonsense so they put the blame on me) so let me rise to the bait of your hate you know i don't need to tell you cuz you know that you're fake i tried to care about your feelings and your little heart breaking does it get good? boy, i'm still here waiting it takes a lot it hurts a lot it gives a lot, i'm shaken all these motherfuckers walk around like they taking from the vestiges of beauty that my family's forsaken in the name of your freedom, in the name of a nation my story's being written as i speak, in the nascent stages, and i've hardly had a peek at the adjacent pages but i know what i'll find when i glance behind: contradicting narratives intertwined used to think i had to find myself used to think i had to know myself please

get a bit lethargic and my heart is laced with arsenic an arsonist i've seen in my dreams it's a piece of me dissolved in acid time to secure my assets and i hate this part a lot gotta call my accountant show up dazed and confused searching all over for my muse slanting hard and my excuse is that it's all merely a ruse take a pleasure cruise, the worst thing that you'll ever do you know it's true imagine all the people waitin in the crew sand it down, don't clown with brown town make found sound pound the alarm like your life depends on it wrote a message and i'm sending it got this earth i'm bending it pretending that it doesn't make me sick what makes you click? 5 in the morning and i think about your dick and i'll stab my eyes out with an ice pick wonder if you'd miss your life if it passed you by picked it up off the floor and tried it on for size and it didn't really fit wasn't really my style took it off and flung it into the discarded pile

i dream that maybe we'll burn together how does that sound? if we stay and weather the storm we might survive, but the aftermath crazes the surface of this earth with a million mazes the faces staring up, blank as the world erupts nothingness accusing me of negligence run amok and i know deep inside that if i tried a little harder they would maybe be alive, i would maybe be a martyr it's a voice of God resonating in my ears calling me a failure as i wipe away my own tears and i wake up as the final death toll appears i haven't had this nightmare in nearly ten years do you remember what you were doing when you were eleven years old? cuz i've been trying to retrace my steps do you remember what you were doing when you were eleven years old? cuz i haven't found anything yet and now there's silence in response to violence sitting on a pedestal massaging my conscience talking in circles, calling for divestment never taking the chance to make a risky investment but i'm tired of being afraid to be culpable tired of trying to make contradictions resolvable give me rough edges, watch me embrace them not a cause of death but a response to your reason do you remember what you were doing when you were eleven years old? cuz i've been trying to replace my past do you remember what you were doing when you were eleven years old? cuz i'm putting memories to rest

stave it off 1 2 3 and there's so many things you wish you could be let's see: a savior, commander, a good person i see you tryna think of it as better or worse than mm, sorry, that's not how it works a zero sum game of personality quirks i'd call you immoral but i don't really think that would make a dent in your personality you keep me breathing you heathen why come you gotta be so bad you know that if i gave two shits about you it would make me sad but as for now it's energizing cuz i'm sizing you up and fuck this feeling i'm reeling from boy you know you're in luck and i know that i'm compromising expending too much energy maximalizing i'm done with you because you ain't recognizing my usual abstractions materializing got my legs propped up, i'm realizing that you're a cancer metastasizing and the only way to live is to cut you out which i really don't mind cuz you're such a lout let's get together and listen to björk i really like to tell myself that i'm a piece of work with a predisposition to completely shirk my responsibilities with a laugh and a smirk i'm self-destructive with a penchant for the melodramatic and what i let you see is just an animatic when everything's filled in you better run and hide because what goes on underneath runs deep and far and wide (go to sleep and don't wake up strap on your heels, and let's make up) wait, where the fuck even am i? thought this was a screening of seven samurai now i'm discombobulated and feeling semi-conscious and woozy and drunk you're kind of a hunk and i'm bored already hold steady, that's a band you probably listen to am i right? i'm usually right. i've never heard them but i think i'm right. and i'm not playin no i got a piece and i'm ready to say it now i really think that i got to show you how to not be your usual self but i really wanna turn down a little bit gotta be able to see you clearly come to me and i'll take care of you attention: subjects with tension have ascension on their schedules today attention: subjects with pensions have ascension on their minds attention: all men and yes i mean all men are to be stopped attention: all men and yes i mean all men you have been dropped

i think i love it need you to glove it up i think i want it need you to shove it up do you remember, muhfucka was the worst in town and then of course there i was on the DL tryna clown hit me up like where you at are you lookin are you down come inside and treat me right turn me out on the ground don't hang around, cuz you know that you're my lost and found if i'm still dreamin then you better not make a sound find your keys and drive home to your breeding ground while i lie in bed and get my beauty rest boy i'm crowned queen white men bore me, restore me with your tears and i'll paint my fingernails as you confess to me your fears man i eat that shit up, pretending that i care words rolling off my tongue with my fistful of your hair and i think to myself, what a wonderful world an illusion, a utopia, a blueprint unfurled drinking ambrosia cuz you know that zeus got nothing on me i got my one titty out and i'm quality boy i'm crowned queen

i wish i felt actualized in the morning i'm corny and deathly afraid that i'm boring restoring factory settings my friends are all having weddings and i watch from afar in 600 thread bedding let's talk together cuz i'm curious in other news i'm furious about these thinkpieces on millennials when i think back i remember bicentennial man and not much else to be honest so i don't mind being alive but i'm over just surviving it's not so much passé as undermining no i don't mind being alive but i'm over just surviving it's not so much passé as undefining i guess i'm a closeted pretentious (that's a noun now) and i'm really rather tired of trying to kowtow to this industry (he said in a white boy voice) the potentiality of sexuality as choice is a little overwhelming if we're being real how does it feel to be opened up from the inside? i've got nothing to hide anymore so why the fuck do i care what strangers think? liberation is a funny little word, don't you think? think i need a conscience, no what i need's a drink you got me chuffed to bits absolutely tickled pink say it in a cockney accent: "is that what you fink" "hallelujah," he says, "it's the final form" reproduction as demeaning, authenticity as porn when i meet you at half past three in the morning it's in the single digits and we're trying to stay warm "these pretzels are making me thirsty" you know i'm kirstie alley fuck now i'm sounding like i'm at my parents' age proselytizing and serving wisdom with sage who knows? it might be a look i wear well how goes it, old chap, oh please pray tell.. nah, feels unconvincing. i've never been able to sell a performance i didn't believe in and now your favorite anime's on instant watch but it's dubbed and as usual that totally botches the meaning of the script amps it up too many notches and renders it the stuff of vod in motor lodges how about those dodgers? never heard anybody say that because i never really grew up around a culture of sports of which there are two kinds: there's good old-fashioned team spirit and then there's cricket with white boys in salmon shorts so i don't mind being alive but i'm over just surviving it's not so much passé as undermining no i don't mind being alive but i'm over just surviving it's not so much passé as undefining (all these cities are starting to blur together) let's go ahead and talk about it, talk it out, feel it out so we get in touch with ourselves and the foundations of consciousness, okay? oh my god i haven't seen you in a while oh hey let's talk about speech pathology and uptalking all the things you say that sound less smart than stephen hawking but man, fuck your respectability, god your face is smug as hell your tone openly mocking but the joke is on you (all these cities are starting to blur together)

i don't trust myself anymore and you wish you knew the reason why what's your supply? i think you're running low moving too slowly i'm so unholy you're looking homely standing in the back singing "oh comely" you call yourself "disaffected" blasé erected "make sure that you're protected and uninfected" "i don't care how it feels!" watch me as i kick my heels up yours directed by harmony korine authentic original sin playing the tiniest violin digging deep into your skin a piece of shit-eating grin sitting back with your gin "i love paris, have you been?" stop being such a bossy business bottom boy it's not a good look for you and i swear that i've got cotton mouth from excessively eating you if i may say so myself i do not think the meal was worth it and it will take at least a year for us to unearth it was that a bit too much for your delicate sensibilities for my taste at least you foreclose too many possibilities see i prefer my masc bros thrown in he trash with a tail between their legs and out the door in a flash

geriatric mary magdalene keep it running cuz i got original sin go to confession dressed in fashion got you on your knees, uh you want this doodoo i think it suits you and i refuse to stop doing me but boy you sweatin and getting me drinkin templeton rye and i would call your ass pretentious if it wasn't so fine cuz you tie my tongue up, you've got me all strung up and i don't know what to say all my words are coming out in a jumbled fashion and i never thought i'd care but i want to see if something is there so thanks for listening ain't no christening that could touch this high i've been blue dreaming so you know i'm floating in the sky and i hope that you can join me and i hope that you'll enjoy me and i hope i'm not annoying i'm catching blessings learning lessons teach me how and why i'll be so saddened when we finally have to say goodbye and there's so much left to say but until next time